marc, his mom, and i were watching this sunset when i felt my phone vibrate in my purse. i saw my dad was calling, and was kind of pissed, because my father—like everyone else—knows i don’t talk on the phone. then i looked at my voicemail and saw that both of my parents had left messages, turned to marc, and said “he’s dead.”
i called my mom and she said “he’s gone” and “i tried so hard to save him, kara” and started crying. we drove back to the timeshare and i got into our bed in my silver alexander wang dress while marc made all of the arrangements to get us to buffalo, immediately. he also googled “how to help a grieving spouse,” which he was very embarrassed to tell me at dinner tonight, and remains so mortified about that he asked me not to tell anyone, but i told him i was writing this post, because it’s one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me. he also did several things that were not mentioned on the internet, including surreptitiously handing me a tissue, which wasn’t that easy since i was directly in front of the casket, one of only four people sitting down.