1. not including the cost of hair, makeup, meals, dresses, heels, a suit, a pair of shoes, ties, shirts, alcohol, hotel rooms, a photographer, a gift for the witness, and the extravagant courtship that preceded the whole thing, but still: $25 for a wedding location and officiant is not bad. 

    Tagged #price tags
     
  2. marc said when he was first reading my tumblr it was full of feminist theory he didn’t understand. here’s another wedding picture. (courtesy of erica berger) 

     

  3. lookerlooker said: Happy wedding! Also I love that you love Bryn Mawr <3

    thank you! it really was a happy wedding. 

    and yes, i love bryn mawr. in fact, i have spent the last two years thinking—as i shirked writing my dissertation; avoided social climbing colleagues; went on vacation with marc instead of attending any number of conferences—about the time the bryn mawr graduate interviewing me for admission said: “you are one of the most rational young women i have ever met.”

    as the two professions i have been involved in—academia, the media—crumble, what maybe looked irrational to others always felt rational to me. that bryn mawr graduate remains an outsize figure in my personal imaginary, a permissive patron, whether or not she would have agreed with my prioritizing my relationship over my (official) scholarship.

    (she might have, if i explained. a person might rationally argue that this relationship supports my official and unofficial scholarship, as well as many other things i care about, more than it does not.)

    also, bryn mawr is the only school besides swarthmore whose graduates i immediately assume are smarter than me. than i. you know what i mean. i wrote that angry letter to their PR firm once, but if if my unconceived child ever went to bryn mawr, i would be thrilled.  

     
  4. marc was thanked in a book that was just on the today show and stephen colbert and will definitely be a times bestseller. 

    i was like “which caribbean vacation?”

    (st. lucia, our favorite, where we had our own private plunge pool and the dark, ornate bar had a hanging bed where you could drink expertly-poured champagne while listening to the jungle and the restaurant always brought over a stand for me to hang my purse on, which still seems like the height of luxury.)  

     

  5. mar-see-ah said: You have Audrey collar bones and you have looked amazing and calm and happy and sexy and pretty through your wedding events. Love love love.

    thank you! i think we made almost every part of the experience something that was fun, and meaningful, and we actually wanted to do (yes to lots of professional hair and makeup, no to seating charts). i’m glad that that calmness was reflected in the pictures. 

     

  6. cavecrystals said: I think I speak for all of tumblr when I say- I wish you could get married every few months. karaj in love and getting married has been a constant bright spot in my newsfeed/day/life (as much as a stranger could). Though I am willing to bet that karaj in love and married will be just as incandescent.

    sometimes i worry—more about the tumblring than the love—but this gives me hope. thank you!

     
  7. friday: hair and makeup in the neighborhood, for me, then family dinner—and first meeting—at our apartment, catered by our favorite brooklyn deli (eight out of ten attendees were jews). this was followed by the premiere of jeff, molly, and sam’s wedding video and our reinterpreted wedding ceremony, officiated by sam with molly as flower girl and jeff playing axl f, the only song he knows how to play on the piano. then a walk along the brooklyn promenade, a viewing of the statue of liberty and manhattan, and a nightcap at the group’s hotel. 

    saturday: hair and makeup at the studio, followed by sunset drinks at the lobby lounge at mandarin oriental, the bar with the best views in the city. then we went to shun lee, our favorite restaurant, with the most flattering lighting and extravagant, dragon-filled interior, packed with older women wearing heavy, perfectly-applied eye makeup; men in blazers, some of them white; plus what looked like a smith reunion. it will always be the site of my favorite people-watching, but we were mostly talking to each other, at the specially-requested best, most central table. another hotel nightcap. 

    sunday: bagels, lox, and various champagne concoctions at our apartment, plus a walk around the neighborhood, before everyone made plans to see each other again and said goodbye. 

    my father-in-law asked what i would like to call him and my mother-in-law; finished my book and even remembered what year it was published; and also remembered the name of my nail polish, which i told him years ago (“status symbol”—he thinks it’s funny, too). my mother and mother-in-law discussed their favorite topic—being jewish—and watched jeff and the kids run around. my mom said she is retiring next year and would be more than happy to take care of a grandchild. my mother-in-law said she wanted to show me off at a lunch with her friends next time we are in dallas (at neiman’s, surely). my mom’s long-term boyfriend, mike, always a stand-up guy, took lots of pictures with a real camera. my father seemed to be having fun, too, except for when he was staring off into the distance. my brother couldn’t wait to come to new york and he especially wanted to see the statue of liberty, which jeff and the kids went to visit on saturday.  

    shun lee is where joan didion held her daughter’s wedding reception and i made a joke, months ago, about how we all know what happened to joan didion’s daughter. that was before my brother died. marc had a toast prepared for that night, and he told me in advance the part about keith: how the weekend had been planned with him in mind, and that we would always consider him a part of this new family. i started crying, then stopped, because i couldn’t show up for the makeup artist with puffy eyes. once we got to the bar marc said that he thought giving the toast felt wrong. the best way to honor my brother, during this delicate three days, was by not saying anything at all. 

     
  8. i liked last night’s hair and makeup so much that i slept in it. 

     
  9. various makeup artists, dermatologists, and eyebrow specialists, plus the entire staff of barneys brooklyn, have told me how beautiful i am, or look, so many times in the last month that i’m starting to get suspicious. 

    but when my hair stylist for both our wedding ceremony and our family wedding dinner said that i had sent in better references than any client she’s ever had, i believed her. 

    those references were good. and this is what i got. 

    (she even bought a copy of the 50th anniversary edition of vogue italia and had it in the studio. she had even blown out naomi campbell’s hair for the cover.)

    i bought this dress from net-a-porter months ago and sent a link to laia for styling advice. she had various ideas for heels including one “WILD CARD option… these dolce pumps… i think maybe they are too crazy? but omg theyre beautiful and i think fit in nicely with the narrative of your romance… re. italy etc.” obviously i wanted to go with the wild card option that alluded to our italian engagement. i wasn’t planning on carrying a bouquet, but i still wanted flowers on my shoes. 

    i also sent a link to suzanne, who i have been friends with ever since i was in charge of beauty and she was in charge of fashion news when we were at teen vogue. “would you wear your hair up with the teal dress?” she asked. “that neckline seems made for it.”

    it was. what would i do without these people? marc insisted on the photo.

     

     
  10. i got a phone call thursday morning from the woman who booked my hair stylist and makeup artist, which didn’t seem good: we always email. she apologized, profusely, and said that tracy had gotten called to paris to do some shows and wouldn’t be available to do my makeup for the family wedding dinner. it was hard to be angry: i had chosen the agency specifically because they worked with artists who did editorial and backstage and, anyway, the wedding ceremony itself, and professional photography, had already happened.

    i worked with her assistant, who i had already met and liked, and probably didn’t need much more instruction than already existed on this tumblr, plus they offered to have both me and marc to come in some other to make it up to me. now all i need is the right event.