i need you to tell me more. you are a crucial tumblr feminist and it would never occur to me that you weren’t. remember the drafts you purged? they were great.
- everyone knew who was a top and who was a bottom (except for me. “prude blogger.”)
- “sorry, i drank a beer before i got here, so i also brought this can of coke i need to get rid of” “we’ll add it to the menstrual punch” “perfect!”
- “i want to get pregnant tomorrow so that anna can be my nanny”
- that was before i agreed to have a baby with anna
- that was after anna decided she was not interested in my written non-consent
- rgr offered me wine made under her sink
- emily made the best mix ever
- emily got really heated about rap
- our discussion of how marriage is only okay if it’s an elaborate conceptual joke, which is how my last relationship started and should have remained, at least affectively. totally pro relationships as conceptuals.
- “i’m really into dads” “i’ve slept with dads. but they’re, like, my age”
- “everyone needs a friend who will help them make terrible decisions. aliza is that for me. those are the best decisions.”
- more important photos here
- internet fame conversations, including my continued insistence on my downward mobility
- “you just have to tell guys what you want. usually they’ll do it.”
- anna: so i gave a paper on the bromance
- emily: anna is a recognized bromance scholar
- kj: that is AMAZING i ONLY care about bromances. they are the only films i care about.
- anna: someone asked a question about plato's idea of all friendship having an erotic component and i was "what's plato?"
- kj: hahahahahahahahahaha
- [redacted: ] your ex-boyfriend is the oldest person i've ever fucked
- kj: hahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha
- [redacted: ] you laugh at that every time we hang out
what if we started a tumblr lipstick misandrist secrets blog where we made text graphics that said stuff like “sometimes i only hate men a little bit instead of totally” or “i’ve never read butler”
- [redacted fashion editor: ] nylon was totally iconic in 2001-2004
- kj: that's when i was there!
- [redacted: ] it was like sassy
- kj: i wrote a book about sassy!
—me, out loud, to myself, in my apartment, as things keep happening
tonight i had drinks with an old friend from college. we met on the second day of school, on some weird forced retreat, when we were eighteen i guess (actually i was only seventeen), and she told me about how her dad just died, and i told her that my boyfriend had just died, too. we also lived together for a year, our first year in new york, right after we graduated.
i told her the story of the last two years. she said, delicately, “if i remember correctly, your father was always there for you.” twenty years later and she still knew my stepmother’s name.
she couldn’t even look at me. i totally get it. i know exactly what it’s like. every time someone tells some story about fucking their high school boyfriend or girlfriend, i just want to die, but i totally get that i will always want to die when people talk about this stuff, and there is nothing to do but steel yourself, permanently. i thought she was being incredibly kind.
“he literally saved me” i said. and “my entire adult life has been so great, it has been so much better than college, but the last year and a half has been terrible.”
“i’ve missed you,” she said, after we talked about our many ill-advised affairs with people we’ve been having ill-advised affairs with for twenty years. we were pretty slutty in college.
“this is exactly what we thought we would be like” i said at one point and she was like “we would have been proud.”
i can’t bother to write this better before posting it.
someone asked me what my Political Views were because I looked so unbearably bored when she was telling me about some political blog about stephen harper and crimes against democracy and etc etc etc etc etc etc etc
and I was like “I mean I guess I want to burn down parliament? and then burn down whatever the fuck we come up with to replace it? just like……………………’burn everything’ are my political views I guess”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about your political views”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about democracy”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about stephen harper”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about voting”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about the religious right”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about pierre trudeau”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about enlightenment rationality”
my political views are “don’t talk to me about corruption”
my political views are “don’t talk to me i’ll talk to you”
my political views are “don’t talk to me”
my political views are “won’t somebody think of the children”
my political views are “the st-henri listserv”
my political views are “bc capitalism”
my political views are “i like to vacillate”
my political views are “elaborate conceptuals”
my political views are “fuck yr anarchist collective house”
my political views are “everyone is racist”
my political views are “everyone is boring”
my political views are “the sum total of all of the tags of my blog”
my political views are “boring”
100% LOL and yes to all of this.
my political views are “LOL political views”
my political views are “LOL views”
my political views are “LOL political blogs”
my political views are “LOL asking”
my political views are “ask me later”
my political views are “i mean i guess”
my political views are “look at my tumblr before this goes too far”
my political views are “that’s funny that you find my tumblr intimidating”
my political views are “i won’t be a jerk first, but i’ll be a total asshole second“
my political views are “aestheticize it, please, or i can’t bear it”
my political views are “you should try aquavit and leave me alone“
my political views are “i don’t read it”
my political views are “telling you everything-nothing“
my political views are “i don’t know”
my political views are “etc”
- mh: yes you can tumblr it
- kj: im glad i can tumblr it because i already did