1. “congratulations again on the wedding!!! marriage is awesome, and you guys will be great at it.”

    ada is a marriage evangelist. she has been at least since i first knew her at nerve, where she edited some of my best reported pieces, like the one on why planned parenthood—an organization i love—is really fucked up (it’s mostly the government’s fault). and she was even more of an advocate, with me certainly, when we blogged together at 90swoman and i regularly institution-bashed (see link in my post from a few weeks ago).

    ada and her husband neal (performance artist approved of by both karen finley and kanye west) were among my first friends to meet marc. i took him to a party at their apartment after date number four at the standard hotel, which i guess could be considered dates number four-six, since we stayed there for a few nights. point being: we knew each other just well enough that it seemed appropriate to introduce him to the many people i know who regularly take their clothes off, in public, as part of their art. (marc is always calling me a nudist, which i’m not, compared to, like, the great bridget everett.) later, ada told our friend shelly that marc was “smart, funny, and game.” i was impressed with her precision. i also wondered if her impression had anything to do with the fact that we flagrantly made out in front of everyone during the entire event.   

    anyway, ada was never shy about wanting me to be married. she’s a champion of having kids, too: her eight-year-old took this picture, which is why it’s a little blurry. 

     

  2. yesterday i booked a wedding photographer (recommended by a prolific documentarian of downtown performers); got a keratin treatment for my hair (the final one before i try to get pregnant); brought my two wedding dresses to a glamorous tailor (he wears a single diamond earring); and took three pairs of heels to be perfected (though, truthfully, probably not the heels i am wearing, which are still in italy). if i worked this hard all the time i would have written my dissertation by now, but if i had written my dissertation by now i probably wouldn’t be getting married.

     
  3. we bought a station wagon yesterday. i guess that means i need to get my license, which i let expire when i worked at nylon, like, 15 years ago, because i could not fathom how the magazine was going to run if i left the office for several hours—an entire day?—to go re-up at the dmv. it’s possible that i was actually just being really, really lazy, but then, my boss was known to fire people for lesser infractions than being absent when you were needed to write 50 words on the shampoo bottle that was shaped like a dildo or something. . 

    marc has told me to stop acting like i’m poor because he’s seen my childhood street, but i know that he grew up richer than me because everyone at his high school had a car. this is the first car i’ve ever owned. a different, earlier boss sent me to LA to open and manage the west coast office of his PR firm and leased me a white honda something, which proved to be pretty useless impressing valets at the chateau marmont, a not-insignificant portion of my job. i’m expecting a little more respect with this volvo, at least in the hamptons.

     

  4. "because there can be terrible surprises, however, there can also be good ones."
    — eve kosofsky sedgwick, “paranoid reading and reparative reading, or, you’re so paranoid i bet you think this essay is about you,” in touching feeling  (via karaj)
    Tagged #reblog
     

  5. theheartisalandfill:

    threelisabeth:

    REORIENT ALL YOUR FAILURES. DROPPED THREE MUGS ON THE FLOOR TODAY? DISASTER CHIC. WORE THE SAME STAINED SHIRT FOUR DAYS IN A ROW? GARBAGE CHIC. DIDN’T BRUSH YOUR HAIR? TAKING “ARTFULLY DISHEVELED” TO PREVIOUSLY UNREALIZED LEVELS OF GLORY. DIDN’T BRUSH OR WASH YOUR HAIR, FOR THE PAST, LIKE, WEEK? YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL MAGICAL PRINCESS OF THE FOREST, EMERGING BLINKING INTO A STRANGE URBAN LAND. FUCKED UP PAINTING YOUR NAILS? ABSTRACT AND INSOUCIANT. WHO CARES, LIFE’S WEIRD, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL AND STRANGE CREATURE, W H A T E V E R

    kara j hashtag price tags

    love it. 

     
  6. this is one of the greatest compliments i’ve ever gotten. 

     
  7. (Source: fytawnykitaen)

    got the red heels (higher), too.  

     
  8. karaj:

    this is obviously one of the most importantly named books ever and let it be a guide to us in our lives and in our writing. as susan mcclary says of madonna’s feminine ending in “live to tell,” “…she sets up residence on the moments of the harmonic context that fluctuate between desire and dread on the one hand and resolution on the other. rather than deciding for the sake of secure identity (a move that would lapse back into the narrative of masculine subjectivity), she inhabits both and thus refuses closure.”

    refusing closure, secure identities, and masculine subjectivity forever. 

    but also: so much historical laughter over sentences like “madonna is engaged in rewriting some very fundamental levels of western thought.” plus mcclary keeps talking really extensively about tawny kitaen and i am torn between reading the book and watching whitesnake videos, because i think as a performance studies phd my stipend supports either/both. omg, tawny. i just want to do bad balletic gymnastics on a car but i really need to read this book. (“excess and frame: the musical representation of madwomen.” chapter 4.) 

    the theoretical underpinnings. 

    Tagged #reblog
     
  9. i should note that laia and i discuss tawny on a regular basis and that i might publish more of these conversations soon. also, she helped me pick out my wedding dress, online, in about five minutes. that’s how she helped me pick out marc, too. 

     
  10. dancingundercover:

    Love this part.

    the dress i’m wearing for family drinks at a manhattan hotel bar followed by dinner at our favorite restaurant is a little bit more teal than green, but you get the idea.