"it isn’t that to have an honorable relationship with you, i have to understand everything, or tell you everything at once, or that i can know, beforehand, everything i need to tell you. it means that most of the time i am eager, longing for the possibility of telling you. that these possibilities may seem frightening, but not destructive, to me. that i feel strong enough to hear your tentative and groping words. that we both know we are trying, all the time, to extend the possibilities of truth between us. the possibility of life between us."

adrienne rich, women and honor: some notes on lying. (via teaandthorazine) what about this to this? not totally, just a little bit. feeling forced to speak or to speak perfectly or to speak of feelings one does not at that moment want to speak of is a nightmare or even traumatic. “frightening, but not destructive.” also: honor.