1: i bet if i sleep over his apartment i wont have...

1: i bet if i sleep over his apartment i wont have to be his alarm clock OR his safe haven!
2: haha I can't wait until you are like "i have to use the rest room" and then peek to see if he is using his shower as a filing cabinet
1: do you think he has a post it on his wall with how many publications everyone has vs how many he has? do you think he doesnt wash his silverware he just buys plastic? i cant wait til he invites me to his apartment for a date and when i get there he is asleep and wont wake up.
2: HE DOES NOT HAVE A CHART what a TOOL
1: we were broken up for a month and when i came back IT WAS STILL THERE.
he also had a post it note that said something like "when are you happy? what is making you happy?" also he has a lot of, like, marc jacobs ads ripped out and taped to his wall
2: oh my god he is some loser ben stiller movie come to life! a post it that says "what makes you happy?" you should have written SQUALOR
1: SQUALOR. SITTING IN MY OWN FILTH ALL NIGHT. WRITING POST ITS.
i think he will die of his own coke drinking and not sleeping and evil ways.
2: R.I.P. WHITE SWAGGER
is it wrong that I think you have the makings of the best Modern Love column ever?
1: i know. i need to write my eat, pray, love. except instead of buddhism there is biting.
2: Ps tumblr all of this or just the highlights
1: ps. marie calloway is killing it.