tumblr writing 1

fuckdudeskilldudes:

stayinbedgrowyourhair:

fuckdudeskilldudes:

stayinbedgrowyourhair:

there is a certain writing style that smart/angry/gross ladies on tumblr utilize and i used to be WAY into it but now i’m realizing that it’s v limiting and conformative in a way that the aforementioned ladies would not be in favor of but i’m starting to unwittingly adopt its cadence and now i don’t know what to do besides hate myself

ehhhhhhh i’m not NOT in favour of that shit, you know?

I guess in the past few months (can we talk about how i’ve only even been doing this since april, because like, WHAT) i’ve collected some new verbs/concepts like “momming” and “makeupping” and “slut geniusing” and “elaborate conceptuals” and “feminist whatevers” but like, I think you’re talking about something broader kind of? like a particular voice, and pace, and tone

but I’ve always written strangely and I wouldn’t write this way if it didn’t resonate with the way that I think and understand the world

like, I’ve always been extremely deliberate about which parts of my language I make exactingly precise and which parts of it I leave intentionally vague/ambiguous

and I’ve always been good at using maddeningly simple words to craft very specific kinds and turns of phrases

(can we talk about how I used to write poetry? and it was really fuckin good? and how I’ve started writing again, in the process of fixing myself, and this time around all the shit’s terrible but at least I’m doing it, or something, ugh idk)

oh no i am now realizing that i didn’t give this writing style credit for being aspirational

because it IS

 “makeupping” and “slut geniusing”

these are now parts of my ExIsTeNtIaL bEiNg and i would never want to exorcise them bc hellooooo perfect wish fulfillment 

but there is a certain type of philosophical wishy-washy-ness that we are embracing (MAYBE THAT IS GREAT, I DON’T KNOW) w/ how we love deleuze and sontag and paganization and volcanoes and whatnot 

is wishy-washy more authentic than concrete encylocpedias in a denis diderot type way or are we all kidding ourselves? WHO KNOWS 

“like, I’ve always been extremely deliberate about which parts of my language I make exactingly precise and which parts of it I leave intentionally vague/ambiguous”

this is a thing i’m thinking about a lot lately

precision is great but is it also wasted on the people primed to appreciate it?

a sort of WOW YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE LET’S REWARD YOU HANDSOMELY

srsly WHO CARES if certain people understand what we mean, we’ve got a broader audience we need to address

mmmmmmmm……………………I disagree? or, i guess, i generally think about this shit differently kind of?

because my precision isn’t about Certain People understanding what I mean

idk, i am the way i am about language because otherwise I would die

literally not capable of existing in the world any other way

i don’t know how else to put it

for example dating me is HORRENDOUS because when there is A Thing I will make you have seven-hour conversations where both of us have to list all of our feelings, and the proportions in which we are having them, precisely, with the correct words, AS WELL AS the correct amount of silence and relinquishing and failures and gestures and ambiguities and “that’s not the right word, but” and “idk idk idk idk”

H. visited me recently and I was talking about my tendency to do this and Y. was like “but you don’t literally mean SEVEN HOUR CONVERSATIONS, though, right” and H. started laughing/dying and was like “NO BUT YES THOUGH. ACTUALLY. YES.”