this weekend in gender roles

• agreed that facebook friending is the man’s job in the relationship 
• ordered my own meal and then said “you’ve never heard me do that before have you?”
• said i didn’t like “bridesmaids” that much because i only care about bromances ie. the upcoming “entourage” movie
• was told that i had to choose between playing the honors student or the bitch should i ever get a 60-second cameo in an 80s movie and replied that i could probably be both because my career has been dedicated to exploring the ways in which the 90s brought these tropes together (also that i really only care about achieving this impossible life goal for the big, blonde hair and tube dress)  
• “i love spontaneous hangouts but also i wish i just knew sometimes because then i can plan outfits” “that makes so much sense to me. my whole life is planning outfits. (i am weirdly psyched about wearing something so demure today.)” 
• said “i’m sorry we fought” 
• said “i don’t know, i’ve really never been to any weddings” 
• remembered that time i was listing things i am bad at; laura said “so you’re bad at being a woman” and i said that i can do the fashion. i was reminded of this at rosh hashanah tonight because no matter how feminine i present i am so terrible at being a woman, i can never figure out the right time at a party to clear a table or fill a dishwasher, i’m just two thrown out plates and an equal number of verbal attempts. and then i can never figure out if, honestly, i just don’t fucking care to know or do it or if it’s a durational one-woman protest or if i am genuinely confused or if i am thinking about other things. like, am i ADD (diagnosed) or am i just a jerk or what? i will accept any answer, but i do kind of want to know.