archiving as a placeholder for ambiance

last night we went to dinner and then for drinks at one of the three places we went on our second date, and talked about that for awhile, and then about marriage, and marc said something about how the idea of real commitment is appealing, not just because he likes contracts, and then, maybe, about the attempt to make a thing different from other things, or maybe i was the one who said that. he also said something, kind of, about how even though i am the one who wants kids, he can see the ways in which that experience adds something to a relationship, except that isn’t nearly as elegant as what he said, or at least what he evoked. 

i have a terrible memory, but later, when we were falling asleep, i was thinking about how archiving, for me, was always really a placeholder for ambiance.