so far, on the annual san diego vacation, i have discussed the barney’s salesgirl whose schedule i memorized so that i can ensure she always gets the commission on my purchases; a nuanced theory about why bloomingdale’s failed in dallas as neiman marcus thrived; the cost of manicures and pedicures in different cities and the regularity with which they need to take place; plus eye cream, lipstick, the nordstrom shoe department, and that i’m “not a dessert person,” twice. marc and i babysat, extensively, which included explaining what keggers are, congratulating his 13-year-old niece for choosing to bet on a female jockey the day we went to the racetrack, and praying that the children wouldn’t ask any questions when beyoncé's “partition” came on the radio. sam, who is seven, didn't understand if i am officially “logged in” as part of the family. i said that i am logged in, and that it's almost official.
we also discussed the minutiae of our relationship at the pool, at dinner, in the jacuzzi. many of my friends and family members are against marriage, or against diamond rings, or even a little bit against me, so i wasn’t prepared for a week and a half of this kind of indulgence. marc’s family has asked us questions and listened to us talk about the details and theory behind the proposal; our plans for a second home; and marc suggesting i get my ears re-pierced, though i haven’t worn earrings in years, because it would be easier for him to buy me presents. his mom even laughed, and, later, when talking about the hotel in positano we stayed at on our engagement trip, said, “it took me 35 years to get to le sireneuse” and then, sincerely, “i’m in awe.”
later, we got the same champagne we drank during that week in italy, and marc’s brother said he hopes that all of our dreams come true, including those we haven’t dreamt yet. it was a lovely and appropriate toast for people who have never really thought about any of this. or at least for me.
a friend of mine, recently deciding between two men who were courting her, said of one: “he’s offering me what your fiancé is offering you. a whole world.”