"If I cannot tell a story about myself, then I will die."

Judith Butler, Giving an Account of Oneself (via spaceshipignition)

if i cannot have people i am close to tell stories about me then i will die also. 

i was going to post that anyway when i remembered that one of the guys who tried to buy us drinks the other night was a rather embarrassed magician. naturally, aliza requested some tricks. i have exactly zero interest in games, so when he tried to have me tell him what card i had pulled out of the pile or pack or whatever i had to ask aliza, which is getting to be part of a larger life pattern that includes my regularly deferring to her description of my academic project and all stories related to my incarceration and breakup when we are talking to other people. intimacy is letting other people tell my stories for me—asking other people to tell my stories for me—even when i am standing there, like IRL reblog. anyway, now i know which card “clubs” is, which i always sort of vaguely wondered, but not enough to find out. the brief literality of our life conjuring was so encouraging. 

i was going to post that anyway when i remembered that one of the guys who tried to buy us drinks the other night was a rather embarrassed magician. naturally, aliza requested some tricks. i have exactly zero interest in games, so when he tried to have me tell him what card i had pulled out of the pile or pack or whatever i had to ask aliza, which is getting to be part of a larger life pattern that includes my regularly deferring to her description of my academic project and all stories related to my incarceration and breakup when we are talking to other people. intimacy is letting other people tell my stories for me—asking other people to tell my stories for me—even when i am standing there, like IRL reblog. anyway, now i know which card “clubs” is, which i always sort of vaguely wondered, but not enough to find out. the brief literality of our life conjuring was so encouraging. 

hannah wilke, laundry lint, (c.o.’s), 1971-73 this is the one i’ve been thinking about the most over the last many months. i love the title’s parenthetical and that the title’s parenthetical is a parenthetical and the number of years spent on this particular performance. in my ongoing series of irrelevant one-woman protests, i have long (long, long) refused to even glance at a claes oldenburg, because whatever privacy concerns, fuck that guy. i’ll look at his beautiful sculpted laundry lint, though. my other two favorite wilkes are here and here. her conflation of feminist and romantic despair always tugs deeply at my heartstrings.  

hannah wilke, laundry lint, (c.o.’s), 1971-73

this is the one i’ve been thinking about the most over the last many months. i love the title’s parenthetical and that the title’s parenthetical is a parenthetical and the number of years spent on this particular performance.

in my ongoing series of irrelevant one-woman protests, i have long (long, long) refused to even glance at a claes oldenburg, because whatever privacy concerns, fuck that guy. i’ll look at his beautiful sculpted laundry lint, though.

my other two favorite wilkes are here and here. her conflation of feminist and romantic despair always tugs deeply at my heartstrings.  

"the schizophrenic is a sexy cyborg."

chris kraus, i love dick 

"35…’the schizophrenic reacts violently when any attempt is made to influence him. this is so because a lack of ego boundaries make it impossible for him to set limits of identification.’ (roheim)"

chris kraus, i love dick 

"the body of the schizophrenic is a kind of egg. it is a catatonic body."

gilles deleuze, chaosophy. i feel it. 

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

perfect lyrics. 

(Source: chelseybell)

"15. no one, and schizophrenics least of all who do it best, can live in this heightened state of reflexive receptivity forever. because this empathy’s involuntary, there’s terror here. loss of control, a seepage. becoming someone else or worse: becoming nothing but the vibratory field between two people."

chris kraus, i love dick 

"17. because identifying so completely with someone else can only happen by abandoning yourself, the schizophrenic panics and retreats abruptly from these connections. connect and cut. connecticut. schizophrenics reach beyond the parameters of language into the realm of pure coincidence. freed from signifying logic, time spreads out in all directions…schizophrenia is metaphysics-brut. the schizophrenic leaves the body, transcends himself, herself, outside any system of belief. freedom equals panic because without belief there is no language. when you’ve lost yourself to empathy, a total shutdown is the only way back in. and when does empathy turn into dissolution?"

chris kraus, i love dick 

"13. schizophrenics have a gift for locking into other people’s minds. direct current flows without any spoken language…schizophrenics aren’t sunk into themselves. associatively, they’re hyperactive…and schizophrenics are the most generous of scholars because they’re emotionally right there, they don’t just formulate, observe. they’re willing to become the situated person’s expectations. ‘the schizophrenic has lightening access to you,’ felix continued. ‘he internalizes all the links between you, makes them part of his subjective system.’ this is empathy to the highest power: the schizophrenic turns into a seer, then enacts that vision through his or her becoming. but when does empathy turn into dissolution?"

chris kraus, i love dick